My Thoughts on Gratitude

I spent a few hours outside doing yard work today – planting daffodils, raking leaves, stuff like that. It was a good therapeutic way to get moving and reflect on Wicked’s theme of Gratitude.

In no particular order, here are some of the things lately that I’ve been really grateful for.

I got back into the scene almost a year ago, right on the heels of therapy after fleeing an abusive relationship. I resolved just before that in September to change my relationship with my body by picking up pole dancing, and seeing how far I could go with that. I was heavily picked on in school, and as a result always have avoided sports and competitions, and I was often mocked for being a terrible dancer. I was also body shamed by past partners and therefore used to hide my body. So, pole dancing was a way to confront those things for me. I could not lift myself up when I started, and I was basically a couch potato for fitness level.

After a year of pole dancing, I did my first performance at Wicked. I trained hard, did my best and was so happy I did. I’m so grateful to have the supportive audience that cheered me on, grateful to my body for getting strong enough to climb that pole, and grateful to my friends who stopped me from dropping out of pole when I thought I couldn’t do it.

Getting back into the scene has changed me for the better in so many ways. I was lucky to fall in with amazing people who supported me and helped me out while I was getting my feet under me.

I could make a whole writing on each one of those people, and all the incredible people since that I’ve met. I learn something from each of you and I’m so humbled and honoured to get to be part of this community. I’m grateful beyond words for my friends, my play partners past and present, and my community. I am going to focus in the next year on trying to pay it forward.

Being at events and places like Wicked I feel safe, accepted and comfortable. I see so many wonderful people getting to express who they are and how they interact with others; and often I’m in awe and speechless at the how much people put into the community and into caring about each other.

One of the reasons I was able to enjoy the weekend as much as I did was because of my partner. He drove me around all weekend, helped me get groceries for hosting thanksgiving on Monday, treated me to breakfast in bed to celebrate having the guts to get up on that stage and do my pole routine, and even helped me prepare food for thanksgiving with my family. I would have been a ball of stress without him. I have never had a partner who showed up for me like he does, and I’m incredibly grateful to be with him.

I am also grateful to my friend¬†for the great scene we had. It was a blast and I love the new violet wand stuff you’ve made! You challenge me to be both a better Top and a better bottom, and are a wonderful delightful human being.

I could write so much more that I’m grateful for, but that’s the main ones right now.